How to become an instant midget!

Can't fit into tight spaces? Too tall to get through a doorway without clocking yourself in the head? Too big for your bed? Then follow these not so quick and not so easy steps to becoming an ultimate insta-midget!

1.First of all, avoid going to outer space. This may crush one of your possible dreams, but gravity on Earth compresses your spine. When you leave Earth's gravity, your spine decompresses, which makes you taller.
2.Find the largest human behemoth you can find.
3. Get them to absolutely HATE you.
4. Do something to make them blow steam out of their ears until the ears bleed.
5. Get them to sit on you. That's it. Yup. "SQAUSHED" like a bug.
6. That's it! This process may hurt... a lot, but you'll be instantly midgetized! Now just hope the hospital bed you wake up in is comfortable...

hah! hilarious. nice how-to SpartanPie! You pack some serious funny. I think I'll try that once I get too big for my bed. Although I doubt that'll happen since I finally got a growth-spurt five days ago; and the last one before that was like, six months ago, and there're tons of people my age that're bigger than me.

Aah, too bad. Be sure to be careful. Make sure your behemoth is in a range of 250-400 pounds. But how would you weigh him/her? Hmm. While he/she's sitting on you? Wait, that wouldn't work. I dunno .

google it? tell them to jump off a house, and slip a scale underneath them! They'll be so big, that the snap in their legs won't hurt them! Crap. They could also break the scale. Maybe ask nicley?

I don't think that asking nicely will get you any sympathy... It never does with anything these days.

I'd rather just stick with growing then to be squashed or decompressed...

also start liking Leah (the crazy) and u will become a migit

that's mean. she has a right to privacy too. She is a member, you idiot!