Rpg story

I am trying to work on a story for an upcoming rpg. I think it needs work at the moment, so I'll post what i have here so far. Please rate it from 1-10 at give some constructive comments or criticism, thanks. Please note, this is a version as it would be worded in the game, not a full technical standpoint. Also note that the game uses its own time scale, based around the Great Wars(GW)


The year 1106 A.G.W.- The Great wars have been over for many lifetimes of man. The Kingdom of Falcornion thrives. Peace has reigned for so long that the people all but forgot the meaning of war. Little did they know on that sixth day of June, peace would be their downfall. They were completely unprepared for the events of that fateful day. An evil spirit of great power found its way to the corpses of those dead in the great wars, giving them consciousness. The spirit lead the army of undead creatures out of the earth they were buried far beneath. They marched through the land destroying all that got in their way. On June sixth, reached Ramn, the great city. It was on that day that they destroyed all things know to man. Being peaceful, the people had no defense, nothing to protect form this attack. For hundreds of year, the land was bereft of life. The survivors of the attack eventually created new settlement, but all memories of the golden ages were lost.

Very good yet, somethings missing... Why not make it so you have to build and find and make treasures, weapons shelters ect

Make a playable elf character with with a huge GATTLING PLASMA GUN! Just a thought ya know, it's 'kay if you don't.

hmmm... The story is good. I voted an 8. How about you make it that there is a calendar in the top left and make it have random weather. Or also, for example, someone wouldn't pop up somewhere until like, 12:00. You could add in some crazy deal merchant that pops up in dangerous places only at certain times of the month or year! Like, he/she could sell an extremley rare ore that would be needed to make a CA-RAZY weapon? Just a thought. You could also add in an awesome forgery engine. Like, if you can that is, instead of making it like selecting different ore and items, and then clicking ok, you could make it like you have a table where you melt, add, and change weapons. Here's an example of forging a sword like a broadsword:

The table pops up. You take iron and place it near a fire by clicking and dragging it (from now on, refered to as CD) You then CD the iron onto one end, then right-click to the other end to make a flattened chunk of iron. Then you can click a toolbar with a hammer icon and click the iron to temper it. Then you can fine tune its edge to a sharp point by chiseling it with a metal knife in the toolbar. Next, you could take a piece of cloth from your inventory and CD it to the handle edge to make a handle. Then, you could take a piece of gold and CD it to the small indent between the cloth and actual blade. Next, you could fine tune it with the metal kinfe to form a handle. You could then melt and then flatten a piece of silver near a fire and CD onto the blade. Next, you could temper it with a hammer, and again, fine tune it with a metal knife. And voila! Your done!

I doubt you'd be able to do this though. It's WAAAAAAY too complicated. Just a thought though.